When I say to move, it means go
someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two
dogs in the way.
The dishes with the paw print are yours
and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please
note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake
a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically
pleasing in the slightest.
Neither the stairway or the hall was
designed by NASCAR. They are not a racetrack. Beating me to the end or bottom
is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you
can run.
I can not buy anything bigger than
a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue
to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs sleeping;
they can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular
to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that
sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end
to maximize space used is nothing but doggy sarcasm.
When I am playing the pinball machine,
jumping up and trying to grab the ball through the glass is not helpful.
Barking at me because I'm not helping you achieve your goal does not win
you any extra brownie points.
My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.
For the last time, there is not a secret
exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to
get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, and try to turn the
knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must
exit through the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms
for years, canine attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is kiss me, and then
go smell the other dogs butt. I can not stress this enough. It would be such
a simple change for you guys to make.
the Boss