The town of Fruita Colorado has decided to become the zombie chicken capital of the world. Several decades ago a local farmer decapitated one of his chickens. Because his wife liked the neck when frying up dinner, he kept it very long when he dropped the hatchet. Then he set the chicken down to run around. After an hour or so, he concluded it had not died, and was not dying. Curious, he began to hydrate it with an eyedropper and feed it down the open throat. It lived 4.5 more years, and was often photographed with its head, which he considerately preserved in alcohol. Of the two, the chicken did look much the more vivacious, while its head had a wilted, unseeing look. "Eminent scientists" examined the marvel, and pronounced that by short-chopping it, he left enough of the brainstem to support its normal functioning as a chicken. So now Fruita is having a Headless Chicken Festival, with Headless Chicken dinners, and various Headless Chicken sports events, etc. It is regrettable, but remediable, that they have not (yet) instituted a Headless Chicken Award for national politicians.